What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
