Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
