glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
