how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
