just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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