I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
