The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
