Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
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Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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