dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
