TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
this is an emotional support booty call
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
God I need to hump something, right now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
