Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
