brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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