I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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