We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
