I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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