is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i believe in u and ur pee
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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