Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My vagina is very pro this idea
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
