escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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