you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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