His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
