I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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