nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
