Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
