he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
