Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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