I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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