you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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