So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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