how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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