Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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