Just fell off a train. Bad.
I skipped work to stalk him.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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