I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize