i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
