i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
