he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
