He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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