I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
