he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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