i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
