I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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