well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
