at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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