thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize