I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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