I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
