Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
