I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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