3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
