You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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