Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize