So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
