Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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