hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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