Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
