Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize