ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
