He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
