I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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