How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
