god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So much rum. So many feels.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
