So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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