I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
