Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
